


Hate to love you

by Aparks330



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: Euphoria, F/F, Rue Bennett - Freeform, maddy perez - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29260761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aparks330/pseuds/Aparks330
Relationships: Rue Bennett/Reader
Kudos: 1





	Hate to love you

It was currently 3AM and my girlfriend Rue had called me, asking me to come over telling me her family is gone for the weekend which was strange seeing as i haven’t heard from her in 3 days but I headed to her house nonetheless riding my bike 20 minutes towards her house in the pitch black. I knock on her door and she opens it, very obviously high out of her mind.

“Hey baby.” She says with a smile. A smile that wasn’t genuine anymore and it showed, only looking slightly happy when she’s high. She barely even looks at me anymore and when she does her eyes are empty. What we once had was lost.

“So, Why am i here?” I say unamused and tired at the games she’s been playing for weeks.

She looks shocked at my coldness. “I have a drug test tomorrow and i need your help.” She said after a deep sigh.

“Really? You haven’t spoke to me in three days and you want me to pee in a cup for you? At 3 AM?” I give her a dry laugh and shake my head. “Yeah, no i’m out of here.”

“Wait don’t go. What’s up with you? Why are you being like this?”

“Oh i don’t know maybe because my girlfriend has been ignoring me for days and the only time she wants anything to do with me is when she needs help to pass a drug test.”

Suddenly the conversation escalated into a screaming match that could probably be heard throughout the neighborhood. Each of us bringing up the other’s flaws. It goes silent for a few minutes the both of us having tears running down our faces as we realize that this time might be the time everything breaks.

“Say something. Anything. Please.” Rue says to break the silence.

“Rue.. I love you. More than anything. I love you so much and to be honest i hate that because it makes this so much more painful to do. But I don’t think i can do this anymore. The drugs, the fighting. It’s too much.” My voice breaking every other word. 

“What do you mean?” Rue asks but still has a knowing look in her eyes. One of heartbreak.

“I mean you clearly love getting high more than you love me and us. So i’m done. We’re done.” I say standing up to walk away and head home.

“No, This can’t be it.”

“I’m sorry Rue.”

“I can’t believe you. God i always knew this would fucking happen. I can’t believe I let myself love you.”

In an attempt to calm myself down i went into the bathroom and splashed water onto my face and Rue followed behind leaning against the door.

“Come on Y/N. It doesn’t have to be like this. I can change. Please give me another chance.” She whispers. Cracks evident in her voice because of the tears falling from her eyes. When i didn’t answer that seemed to flip a switch in her causing her to punch the door and start yelling. “You know what? You’re right. I do love drugs more than i love you. Always have and probably always will. It’s not my fault you’re so fucking miserable. The worst part is i actually loved you and i hate that i do so much. I wish we never even fucking met. My life would be so much better.”

Every time we fought it got like this. Rue would be quiet one moment and then blow up and get angry the next. Like a time-bomb that will go off at any point without warning. And they always ended with me sobbing to myself wishing that she’d change at some point but a year later and it’s obvious that it’s not a likely change.

“Just never talk to me again or even look at me.” She says with a venomous tone with the intent to hurt me. “And get out of my fucking house.” And with that she went into her room and slammed the door behind her. I left her house in a hurry crying the whole way. The next few months were miserable i had only seen Rue around school and she looked almost worse than i did but we never spoke until one night i got dragged to a party by Maddy, one of my best friends.

“You have to come.”

“I don’t know Maddy. Rue will probably be there and i don’t know if i can handle that yet.”

“Look you can either sit and drown in sadness or you can come to my place so i can make you look hot so Rue see what she’s missing. Besides that was months ago, what’s the worst that can happen.”

“Fine but you owe me.” 

Hours passed by and I was anxiously waiting for the car ride to Mckay’s house to end, hoping that i wouldn’t run into Rue. As soon as we arrived at the party Maddy went off to find Nate and I was left alone in the kitchen with a drink and a head full of thoughts. As I was overthinking to myself and allowing myself to become tipsy trying to forget my worries and anxiety which was working until a familiar curly headed girl walked into the room. As soon as we made eye contact it felt burning hot in the house but that didn’t stop me from staring into her beautiful brown eyes, almost falling in love all over again but let’s be real did I ever stop loving her? I could tell that she wanted to come and say something and to try and avoid that I went outside by the pool in an attempt to not have a panic attack in front of my entire school. I sat in silence calming myself down, I thought i was gonna be okay until a familiar voice came from behind me.

‘‘Hey.”

“Hi.”

She sat down next to me and awkwardly looked at me.

“So, How have you been?” She asked.

“Well, not great. You?”

“Uh i’m okay actually. I got clean.”

“Wow. That’s really good. I’m proud of you. I mean that.” I really did.

“Thank you.” She gives a beautiful smile that i missed and this time it was genuine. “I actually did it for you. That night, The things i said i didn’t mean them, I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” I smile as we look into each others eyes both filled with a love neither of us have felt in a while. 

“You think that we can try this again? You and me?”

“I don’t know Rue. Last time took a lot out of me.”

“I know but i’m different now. I’m sober and I can do this if you give me a chance. I love you. More than anything. I want this. I need you.”

I looked at her and knew that she wholeheartedly meant those words. 

“Okay. But you have to promise that you will stay sober. For me, For us. I don’t want to go through what we did again.”

“I promise.”

And with that her lips met mind for the first time in months but it had felt like we had never left each other.

“Hey lovebirds.” A voice says interrupting our little moment. We turned around and saw Maddy, Kat, and Jules standing at the door with smiles. “You know i don’t mean to say i told you so but.” Maddy yells to me with a smirk.

Me and Rue share a flustered look but end up just laughing together. And the first time in a year everything felt like it would be okay.


End file.
